


Let Me Love You A Little

by blurryakashi, trbldean



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Bullying, M/M, Out of Character, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-12 19:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5677135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurryakashi/pseuds/blurryakashi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/trbldean/pseuds/trbldean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi Keiji, a 2nd year student in Fukurōdani Academy. He was an asocial kid with a lack of companionship.</p><p>Bokuto Koutarou, also a year 2 student in Fukurōdani Academy, was a popular kid that everyone dreamed to be.</p><p>Bokuto has a crush on Akaashi but will he have time to confess his feelings ?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First meet up

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: The characters in this work are not written based on their personality in the manga and anime

Akaashi sighed as he began walking towards the school grounds. The sun shone brightly onto his face, threatening almost. He didn't have enough sleep last night and he wished he didn't have school today. He didn't hate studying or anything of the such - It's just that he didn't have a group of friends he could be around with and it could get kind of lonely at times for him. Furthermore, he wasn't ready for another day of getting beaten up by those horrible popular kids at school. 

"I just want to go back home." Akaashi wished to himself.

He was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he hadn't notice someone walking in front of him and accidentally bumped into the unknown figure. He glanced above to see a familiar looking boy in front of him. "I'm sorry," he mumbled and quickly paced past him towards the white building towering in front of him. 

He continued his small journey on foot and proceeded to his locker. He thought that he would be able to make it to class safe and unharmed today, only to find Yūji Terushima, a familiar blonde 2nd year with piercings, along with his posse gathered by his locker, much to his misfortune and dismay. Akaashi started backing away as Terushima walked towards him. "Well, well, isn't this our favorite boy Akaashi Keiji ?" Terushima smirked as he swung his fist towards Akaashi.

Akaashi winced as he felt an intense bolt of pain in his abdomen. Terushima snarled, "Aren't you going to do anything, Keiji?" He cackled almost menacingly before grinning. "Why are you so weak? You can't even defend yourself, loser." Akaashi remained as silent as possible. He knew that speaking up wouldn't do any good for him. He merely accepted the physical abuse that Terushima and his friends were landing on his body. Akaashi could taste that familiar metallic taste of blood all too well as blood trailed down the pale skin of cheeks. "How bad are the beatings this time?" Akaashi asked himself. 

"Hey, Terushima, back away from him." A loud voice shouted from the other end of the corridor. Terushima's cold gaze shifted from Akaashi to the direction of the new voice and fear had glistened in his eyes. Bokuto and his friends were walking towards them and they had no other choice but to back off. "Keiji, it's your lucky day. I will be coming back for you." He spat a lump of saliva that almost hit Akaashi before he began running away from the scene along with his friends.

Akaashi closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. He suddenly felt a very strong presence in front of him and immediately opened his eyes to see Bokuto Koutarou squatting in front of him, trying to examine his face. 

"Hey, Akaashi Keiji right ? Are you alright ? You don't look too well." His voice was laced with concern. Akaashi stared at Bokuto for a few seconds. He wasn't well adjusted to people initiating conversation with him, let alone defending him. "You look really bad, c'mon let's get you washed up. We wouldn't want you showing up to class looking like that." He reached out his hand in an effort to help Akaashi up.

Akaashi simply shook head. "No, you don't have to. You've helped me enough, thank you." He said before letting out a heavy sigh. Bokuto raised an eyebrow, still focused on the bruises that Terushima had caused on Akaashi's body. "I insist," He grabs Akaashi's arms and gently pulled him up and places his hand over his shoulders for support. Akaashi ignored the stinging pain and walked towards the washroom with Bokuto guiding him. Bokuto turned to look at his friends, signalling a hand gesture to tell them to go away.

When they arrived at the school washroom, Akaashi started to clean himself up, wiping the blood stains off of his face and rinsing his arms, dabbing water slowly onto the bruises inflicted on him.

"Damn, this is really horrible." He mumbled to himself. 

Akaashi cleaned himself as quickly as he could while Bokuto awaited for him as he leaned by the frame of the door, watching him intensely. Akaashi let out a brief and heavy sigh as he wiped his face with the paper towel gently.

"Hey Akaashi, you sure you're okay? Do you want to go home and rest for the day ?" Bokuto asked, being careful not to say anything stupid.

Akaashi looked over to the boy with spiky white and black hair. "Yes, this happens almost every day. You don't worry about it too much." He said monotonously before he began walking out the washroom and towards his classroom. Bokuto followed behind him, observing Akaashi and noticing the little subtle body language Akaashi portrayed and how he was almost limping. 

"Akaashi, I know that we've only just met a while ago but please do tell me if you're having problems with Terushima and his stupid friends." Bokuto quickly offered without a second thought. "I really hate those ignorant dudes who are always picking on people just because of they look fierce as shit."

Akaashi merely nodded. He wasn't entirely comfortable with this guy pestering him so he'd pace up a little so he could reach to the classroom faster. Bokuto was saying something about joining his friends, Akaashi wasn't sure because he wasn't listening to him. As they slowly approached the classroom, Akaashi slowed down his pace and was hesitating on going in. Bokuto looked at Akaashi with a questioning face. Akaashi sighed and opened the door to walk in. No one took notice of him. Nobody cared anyways. Akaashi walked towards his seat, plopped himself onto the chair and put his head on the table, not caring about what the teacher was talking. Bokuto went towards the seat beside Akaashi and sat down. He tried to concentrate in class but he couldn't. Who could blame him ? His crush finally talked to him and was sitting beside him right now. Bokuto however sighed frustratingly as he recalled about how he had just witnessed Akaashi being beaten up by that punk, Terushima. 

"Terushima, I swear you'll never see daylight if you hurt him one more time." Bokuto thought to himself.

Today's going to be a long day.


	2. Lunchtime drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto decides to invite Akaashi to his table for lunch after class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at summary

The bell rang, indicating that it was lunchtime. Akaashi sighed as he walked out of the class. He knew that Terushima would get him during lunch. He knew what was coming for him as he dragged himself out of the dreadful class. His heart nearly pounced out of his chest when he felt someone tapping on his shoulder.

"Hey, do you want to go eat lunch together ? You can join my friends, they wouldn't mind." 

Akaashi turned around and saw Bokuto giving him puppy eyes and was practically begging him.

"What could go wrong right ?" Akaashi thought to himself.

Akaashi just nodded and accepted Bokuto's request.

As they entered the cafeteria, everyone started staring at Akaashi like he was a newborn baby. Of course, nobody knew who he was but yet, he was walking beside the most popular kid in school. Akaashi felt every eye in the cafeteria staring at him and honestly, he could've fainted at that very moment. 

"Kuroo!" Bokuto shouted as he dragged Akaashi towards the table in the middle of the cafeteria. Akaashi just walked awkwardly with Bokuto towards the table and stared at the ground. All these physical things makes him really uncomfortable, not in a bad way though, it's just that he wasn't used to being touched like this. 

"Guys, this is Akaashi but it's not like you don't know who he is already. He's joining us for lunch today by the way." Bokuto said cheerfully as he sat down beside that one intimidating guy.

Akaashi didn't know what to do. He just stared at the ground and started blushing profusely. He doesn't work well with people and this was making him really nervous. What if they hates him ? What if they didn't want him to be there ? They were the most popular kids in school afterall. People like Akaashi, the quiet guy that practically has no existence or status in school, wouldn't fit in well. 

Bokuto stared at Akaashi with a questioning look on his face. "Akaashi, why are you standing there ? Sit down." Bokuto said as he pats on the empty chair beside him, signalling Akaashi to sit down. Akaashi sits down awkwardly and played with his hands. He could feel everyone on the table looking at him. He didn't dared to look up. 

"Don't fuck things up, Akaashi." He told himself mentally. 

Bokuto hit Kuroo on his back. "Introduce yourself you idiotic emo boy." He said jokingly.

Akaashi looked up to see Kuroo, that intimidating guy, staring at him.

"Akaashi, hello, nice to meet you. I'm Kuroo and please stop looking so scared. I'm not that scary I swear."

"And Bokuto, who the fuck said you can hit me, you fucking idiot I'm going to kill you." Kuroo said as he started wiggling his fingers at Bokuto. Akaashi looked at them amusingly.

"Kuroo, don't you dare." Bokuto said, obviously scared for his life. 

Suddenly, someone from the other end of the table coughed. He had dark brown hair and his face looked like he could kill someone anytime. Both Bokuto and Kuroo stop whatever they were doing and looked at that boy. 

"Kuroo, Bokuto, what did I say about keeping quiet at this table ?" He told them off. 

"That's Iwaizumi, he's basically the mother of all of us. He's always scolding us because he said we were being "childish" but he's actually a really nice person..... sometimes." Bokuto leaned in and whispered into Akaashi's ears. 

"Anyways, let me introduce all of them to you. That guy beside you is Oikawa, he's usually really hyper and talks stupid shit. And then there's Iwaizumi, the mother of everyone on this table and also Oikawa's boyfriend. Beside him is Kageyama and then there's Tanaka and Tsukishima. Those 3 are from the same class." 

Akaashi silently greeted everyone. Oikawa, the guy that was sitting beside him started talking.

"Hey, Akaashi. I'm Oikawa. I bet you already know me because I'm the prettiest on this table and also nice to meet you. Bokuto always talks about you. You seem really nice. Let's be good friends okay ? But not like best friends because Iwa-Chan is my one and only best friend." Oikawa said in one breathe. Akaashi looked over at Iwaizumi and saw how ready he was to hit Oikawa. 

Akaashi mumbled shyly, "Hi, nice to meet you Oikawa."

Oikawa smiled. "You don't have to feel uncomfortable or anything. Everyone here is really chilled out. We are not as scary as we might look. The rest might not be opening up to you right now but they will soon, don't worry." Iwaizumi just nodded in agreement at the back. 

Akaashi smiled ever so slightly.

Suddenly, Akaashi could felt cold liquid dripping from his hair. He turned around to see Terushima and his friends smirking at him. 

Everyone in the cafeteria suddenly became silent. Nobody dared to talk.

"Keiji, I told you I would get back to you soon. I see that you're sitting with Bokuto and his friends. You can't even protect yourself, can you ?" Terushima growled at Akaashi. Akaashi was ready to stand up and walk away from this commotion when Bokuto, Kuroo, Iwaizumi and Tanaka suddenly stood up and walked toward Terushima and his group of friends. 

"Ah, isn't this our old friend Terushima ? What is your ugly ass doing at our table and why are you messing with our friend over here ? Do you want to fight because I'm always ready to fight you and your gang of animal." Tanaka snarled at Terushima, obviously trying to intimidate him.

Terushima grabbed Tanaka's shirt and said, "Look, I'm not trying to fight you because you're weak as shit. This is between me and Keiji so if you'd step aside and let me have him, everything will be okay." 

Terushima and Tanaka sent each other death glares. Both of them weren't ready to back away from the fight. 

Bokuto walked up to both of them and pushed both of them apart. 

"Terushima...." Bokuto said, while cracking his fingers. "You haven't paid for what you did to Akaashi this morning. I think it's better for you to just apologize and walk away right now before things get ugly." Terushima, despite having fear in his eyes, said, "Bokuto this is none of your business. Keiji is a nobody in this school. No one notices or likes him. His existence is pathetic and people like him shouldn't be treated like a normal human being. He's nobody." 

The very next moment after Terushima finished saying that, he could feel blood dripping down from his nose and an intense pain in his face. He looked up at Bokuto and glared at him. He knew that getting onto Bokuto's bad side would lead to so many bad things but he didn't cared anyways. Bokuto, on the other hand, wasn't ready to take any of Terushima's bullshit. He knew he couldn't control his anger when it comes to Akaashi. He told himself that he would protect Akaashi at all costs. He wasn't going to back down. He wasn't going to let Terushima go without a few broken bones. He wasn't going to let Terushima go for hurting HIS precious Akaashi.

Bokuto was ready to charge towards Terushima when Kuroo suddenly stopped him. 

"You wouldn't want to get suspended from school right ? You want to be able to be in school to look after Akaashi right ? I know you do so stop all this right now and let me handle this okay. Bring Akaashi to the washroom to wash up. We are all here for you bro." Kuroo said quickly and then proceeded to punch Terushima several times in the stomach, making him collapsed to the ground.

Bokuto stood there for a second to realize what was going on before taking Akaashi's hand and pulling him towards the washroom. Teachers started rushing into the cafeteria to stop the fight. Everything was in a mess. Akaashi looked back at the commotion while being pulled by Bokuto and saw Terushima bleeding profusely. "How badly was he beaten up by Kuroo ?" he thought.

When they arrived at the washroom, Bokuto started using paper towels to dry Akaashi off. He looked so worried even though Akaashi wasn't injured at all. 

"Bokuto-san." 

Bokuto looked up at Akaashi and sighed.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to protect you like how I promised. You don't deserve this at all, I'm sorry." Bokuto looked down at the ground, tears were threatening to fall out.

Akaashi started panicking. "Please don't feel like this. I'm okay. I'm not hurt or anything, it's just cold water. Please don't cry, it's not your fault. It's okay." Akaashi don't know what had gotten into him but he stepped forward to give Bokuto a hug, just because it seemed appropriate. Bokuto hugged Akaashi back so tightly that Akaashi could barely breathe, but he didn't say anything because it felt really comforting, he felt like he finally have a friend to be there for.

"Bokuto-san, are you feeling better now ?" 

Bokuto just nodded, but still not letting Akaashi go. He felt so comfortable in Akaashi's arms. His hug felt so warm. He wasn't pissed at himself for not being able to protect Akaashi anymore. He felt so safe and happy. He wanted this to last but he knew that Akaashi only see him as a friend, but nevertheless, he was happy.

Bokuto pulled away from the hug, as it was getting kind of awkward. 

"You ready to go back to the cafeteria ?" Bokuto asked.

Akaashi nodded in agreement.

When they got back to their table at the cafeteria, Kuroo was missing.

"He was suspended, wasn't he ?" Bokuto asked.

Kageyama nodded. 

"I won the bet." Bokuto started laughing.

"What stupid bet did you both did this time round ?" Iwaizumi sighed.

"We said the first one to get suspended this semester will treat everyone food at Taco Bell. Looks like we all going to get a free meal at TB soon." Bokuto tried saying through his laughter.

Oikawa started laughing like an idiot and the other just shook their head. 

"Is this type of thing normal ?" Akaashi finally spoke up. 

"There are plenty of other stupid things they do. This is already one of the more normal ones. Once, Bokuto dared Kuroo to draw dicks on a teacher's car just because he was being a dick during the school assembly." Iwaizumi said as he sighed loudly, obviously disapproving what those two idiots did.

Oikawa stopped laughing when Iwaizumi hit the back of his head and Bokuto's laughter slowly died down. 

"Hey, you guys want to come my house to hang out after this ? My parents are away for the week so I have the whole house to myself. Akaashi, you should come too. It'll be fun." Oikawa suggested.

Everyone except Akaashi agreed. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go. I mean, they weren't bad people, he already knew that, but what will his father do if he don't go home after school ? It's not like he'll be home anyways. There were so many what-ifs running through Akaashi's head that he didn't realize that Bokuto was calling his name. 

"Akaashi, you don't have to come if you don't want to. We don't want you to feel uncomfortable in any way, but I still hope you'll be able to." 

Bokuto's voice calmed Akaashi down a little.

"I'm sorry guys, maybe next time I'll come." Akaashi mumbled.

Oikawa, Tanaka and Bokuto just smiled. 

The bell rang, indicating that school was over. Everyone at that table stood up and started walking out of the lockers to grab their things. Tanaka swung his arm onto Akaashi's shoulder and started making a conversation with him.

"Yo, I'm Tanaka and I'm in the same class with Kageyama and that emo dinosaur enthusiast over there. I haven't talked to you just now because Bokuto was being an idiot and he's always talking to you so I didn't get the chance to. Anyways, we're all really happy to have you in our group and also, do you have a phone or something so we can add you into the group chat we're all in and we can talk and shit ?" Tanaka said cheerfully.

"Yeah I have a phone even though I don't really use it that often." Akaashi replied.

"Sweet, put your number in my phone." Tanaka said as he fished out his phone from his pocket.

Akaashi accepted the phone from Tanaka's hands, typed in his number quickly and gave it back to him. 

"I'll put your contact name as 'Bokuto's gay partner'" Tanaka said.

Akaashi just looked at him weirdly. 

Tanaka realized how confused Akaashi was and said, "Oh, it's an inside joke. You'll know why soon." Tanaka winked.

"What the fuck. Everyone is so weird and stupid in this group." Akaashi thought.

When they were out of the cafeteria, Akaashi started walking towards his lockers quickly so that he can grab his things and get home quickly. 

Bokuto decided that he would send Akaashi home to make sure he gets home safely so he followed him to his lockers. Akaashi didn't even took notice of Bokuto until he was at his locker, packing his things up and Bokuto suddenly popped his head from behind the locker door.

"Just so you know, I'm walking you home today. You can't reject me. You have no way out. I can't drive you home today though because Kuroo accidentally hit my car into a tree the other day when he tried doing the "Look ma, no hands" thing while driving." Bokuto laughed.

Akaashi just smiled and agreed. He was actually amazed by how much Bokuto can talk about and how he can laugh at the most stupid things.

"You're an idiot, Bokuto-san." Akaashi said softly.

"Tell me something I don't know." Bokuto giggled.

Akaashi shook his head in disapproval and started walking out of the school with Bokuto beside him. They made small talks to get to know each other better until they reach Akaashi's house. 

"Thank you for sending me home, Bokuto-san."

Bokuto just stared at Akaashi. He didn't want to leave him alone. He don't know what will happen to him. Akaashi showed no emotions but Bokuto knew that he didn't want to be home. 

"Akaashi, give me your phone." He demanded.

Akaashi took his phone out of his pocket, confused about what Bokuto was trying to do. Bokuto took Akaashi's phone and put his number in.

"Text or call me if you need someone okay ? I'll be there in an instance. I'm sorry for breaking my promise to protect you just now but I swear it won't happen again." Bokuto said, with so much sincerity in his words.

Akaashi hugged Bokuto tightly. "Thank you so much, Bokuto-san." 

Akaashi pulled away and walked into his house. 

"He is so kind. What did I do to deserve him ?" he thought, as he entered the house.


	3. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi's home life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have to apologize in advance. i kind of rushed through this chapter bc i'm sick but i didn't want to update next week or something so i just wrote a short chapter about what akaashi's home life is like. i'll try to update as soon as possible and i rly hope that u are enjoying this so far.

Akaashi jolted up from his sleep when he heard glass shattering onto the floor. 

His father was home, and he was drunk, again.

Akaashi immediately ran into his siblings' room to check on them. He sighed in relief when he saw both of them sleeping soundly. This has already became a daily routine. Father comes home drunk and one of them would get beaten up. 

"Akaashi, I know you're awake. Come down and make me food." Akaashi stiffened up as he heard his name coming out of his father's mouth. He walked down the stairs slowly as it was pitch black and he couldn't see anything besides the glow from the kitchen light. He made sure he didn't make a sound to provoke his father. He walked towards the living room to look at how terrible and disgusting his father was. He was slouching on the sofa and was groaning every few seconds, probably from the headache he was having. Akaashi walked quietly into the kitchen to warm up the leftovers from dinner for his father. As soon as he put the food into the microwave, Akaashi was being pulled by his shirt and was thrown onto the ground. He didn't dared to look up. He didn't dared to look at his face. He was too afraid. Akaashi covered his face as he saw his father's leg swinging at him at full speed.

"Akaashi, you useless brat." Kick.

"I told you to make me some food. Why are you taking so long ?" Kick.

"Can't you see I'm having a terrible headache right now ?" Kick.

"You fucking useless piece of trash." Kick.

"You're the reason why your mother left all of us." Kick.

Akaashi could feel blood dripping from his nose. Usually, his father would be careful enough not to hit him in the face so no one would question but he was too drunk to care about it today. The kicking kept on coming and Akaashi accepted each and every one of them. He would rather get beaten up than seeing his father beating his siblings up. 

The microwave started beeping. The kicking stopped.

"Go back to your room. I don't want to see your face for the rest of the day."

Akaashi nodded quickly and tries to stand up to walk back to his room. The pain was so intense and he was feeling a little bit dizzy. He held onto the railings as he made his way to his room. The moment he locked the door, tears started falling.

Why ?

Why him ?

Why can't he be happy for once ?

So many questions started flooding his head and he cried. 

"I didn't ask to be like this anyways." Akaashi mumbled to himself.

That night, he fell asleep on the cold, hard floor.


	4. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi went to school the next day with a big bruise on his face. Bokuto saw it, and he was mad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok hello here's chapter 4. i havent been able to update alot bc i was sick ((still am actually)) but i knew i couldnt just leave the story like this until i've fully recovered so i decided to write chapter 4 today. i hope all of u are enjoying the story so far and please tell me if u guys like it or not and tell me how i can improve in writing so it doesn't get too boring for u to read. thank u !!

Akaashi groaned as he woke up to the light shining onto his face. He'd unknowingly slept on the floor last night and now his back hurts. He stood up and started preparing for school. He almost forget about the incident yesterday until he saw a big bruise at his right eye. 

Shit, how was he going to hide that big bruise away from Bokuto ?

He sighed as he started stripping to get into the shower to wash up before getting ready for school. He winced when the hot water hit his bruised skin because there was a small cut right below his eyes. He quickly washed up before drying himself up and putting on his school uniform. He knew that his father was still asleep so he grabbed his bag and walked out of his house quickly. As he was walking towards the school, a black Toyota car stopped beside the pathway he was walking on. He looked over to see who it was and much to his surprise, it was Bokuto and Kuroo. Bokuto got out of the passenger seat and started walking towards Akaashi, first with a huge grin on his face then with a confused and slightly angered face when he saw the huge blue-and-black bruise on Akaashi's face. 

Bokuto reached for his face and ran his finger on the bruise lightly. "Who did this to you ?" Bokuto asked, examining his face thoroughly. 

"I-it's nothing. I accidentally fell down yesterday at home. Don't worry, it will heal." Akaashi lied, not wanting to tell the truth to Bokuto.

Bokuto sighed, "Akaashi, my grades may not be good and I may not be that smart but I can tell that you're lying. And I have fell down way too many times to know that no one can get such a big bruise just by falling. Tell me the truth." His voice was laced with concern but he looked like he was ready to kill someone.

"It's nothing, Bokuto-san. Why do you even care so much ? You've only known me for one day and yet, you're treating me like you've known me for years. Why is that so ?" Akaashi was both confused and frustrated with Bokuto and his questionings. He didn't knew why Bokuto was treating him so nicely and he didn't understand why he wanted to be friends with a loser like him. It's not that he was annoyed or anything. In fact, he really fancied Bokuto because he always seems so happy and excited over everything. He just didn't understand why.

Bokuto looked down and grabbed Akaashi's hands. "I just thought that we were friends and this is what friends were supposed to do for each other. I care for you a lot and it sucks to see you get hurt. You deserve to be happy, Akaashi...... And I want to be part of your source of happiness, because seeing you happy makes me happy." Bokuto said, with tears falling out of his eyes. He was obviously hurt by the fact that Akaashi wasn't being open with him but seeing Akaashi looking all beaten up makes him feel so bad.

"I promised I would protect you, remember ?" Bokuto mumbled, as he violently wiped the tears off of his face.

Akaashi hugged Bokuto tightly as he runs his hand up and down his back to calm him down.

"Bokuto-san, it's not your fault. I was careless. I didn't expect him to kick me in the face. I'm sorry I made you so worried. Please stop crying, I don't know how to deal with crying teenagers." 

Bokuto pulled away from the hug and was surprised that Akaashi finally confessed that someone beaten him up. 

"Akaashi, who was 'he' ?"

At that point of time, Akaashi knew he could trust Bokuto, despite only knowing him for a day. He knew Bokuto wouldn't go around telling people about his secrets. So he told him about the abuse at home and how his father always come home drunk. By the end of everything, Bokuto looked furious. 

"I'm going to kill that bastard. How dare he hurt you like this ? Fucking hell." Bokuto started stomping around like a small kid that didn't get candy at the shop. 

Akaashi just smiled.

"Bokuto-san, I know you're throwing a kiddy tantrum but we're going to be late for school if we don't go now."

Bokuto grunted loudly and dropped his hands to his sides dramatically. 

"Okay fine, but we're going to deal with this during lunch. I've watched enough FBI to know how to hide a murder." Bokuto said, with a serious look on his face.

Akaashi chuckled softly and dragged Bokuto into the car so both of them can go to school.

When they arrived at the front porch of the school, Bokuto jumped out of the car, pulling Akaashi out and shouting "Don't crush my car again, Kuroo" or something like that before walking into the school to meet the rest of their friends.


	5. The First Attempt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi meets Terushima's friends in the washroom, and he wasn't going to bear with the bullying any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning ; if u get triggered easily by suicide , please skip this chapter. thank u.

Akaashi was in music class when he needed to use the toilet urgently. His teacher gave him permission to go to the washroom.

What Akaashi didn't expect was to meet one of Terushima's friend in the washroom.

One moment, everything was okay. The next moment, Akaashi was laying on the ground, all beaten up and blood was rushing down his face.

What did I do to deserve all these ? Why can't I just lead a perfectly normal life without all these shitty things happening to me ? Why me ? Why ....?

So many thoughts were running through Akaashi's mind and he was at the point where he thinks that there wasn't any point anymore. There wasn't any point living anymore. Everyone hates him or don't acknowledge his presence at all. All he ever wanted is to feel loved and to feel okay. He didn't asked for all these beatings from Terushima's friends or his dad. He made up his mind.

He ran out of the school and ran back home.

He didn't know what he was doing. He just kept on running until he reached home.

What would Bokuto think ? "He doesn't care."

What about your other friends ? "I don't have any friends."

Your siblings need you. "They are better off without me."

He was so sick and tired of living this way, he started pushing everyone away. He knew that Bokuto would panic so badly if he found out. But Akaashi wasn't going to let this stop him.

He went straight to his bedroom, pulling out one of the wooden plank at the corner of his room and took out the bottles of pills, alcohol and blades he has been saving up.

Then, his phone vibrated. It was Bokuto. They were supposed to hang out after school but Bokuto couldn't find Akaashi anywhere after class. Akaashi threw his phone to the other corner of his room and started forcing pill after pill down his throat with tears falling down of his face. After approximately 80 pills, Akaashi started feeling really dizzy.

He knew that everything was going to be over.

On the other hand, Bokuto was on his way to Akaashi's house. Akaashi wasn't replying to his texts and he knew something was wrong because he saw Terushima's pets staring at him when he walked past them. He had a really bad feeling about this.

"Kuroo hurry the fuck up. Turn right at the front and then stop at the third house." He was clearly panicking by the way his voice was trembling as he spoke.

When he reached the house, the front door wasn't closed so he knew someone was in the house.

"Akaashi ...? Are you in here ?" Bokuto shouted, hoping to get a reply.

He climbed up and tried to open every single door, hoping to find Akaashi.

Then, he came across a locked door. 

"Akaashi, are you inside ?"

No answer.

"Akaashi, I'm coming in so cover up." He tried joking around.

There was still no answer so he knocked down the door. 

What he saw horrified him.

Pills were scattered all around the floor and Akaashi looks lifeless. There was a bottle of vodka in his hands and pills in the other.

"A-akaashi..."

He walked towards him slowly, as if he was approaching an injured animal.

"Akaashi, please tell me this is a joke."

He had him in his arms.

"Akaashi, wake up."

He shook him, in an attempt to wake him up.

"Please, please wake up."

Kuroo was at the door, his hand was covering his mouth.

"I haven't told you how much I love you, wake up please."

Bokuto was brawling loudly as Kuroo told the ambulance that Akaashi attempted suicide and they needed an ambulance immediately.

He felt movement. 

"B-bokuto-san." Akaashi said softly with an extremely weak voice.

Bokuto looked at Akaashi, smiling so slightly because Akaashi was alive and okay.

"The ambulance is coming soon. Please don't die on me, I'm begging you."

That was the last thing he heard, along with the sound of the ambulance sirens in the background, before he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, first of all, i have to apologize that i haven't been updated alot. i have been so unmotivated to write anything lately but i finally got the chance to update so here's the new chapter. 
> 
> and secondly, i know the story have been really all over the place but i promise i will look through everything again and probably edit some stuff so u all have an idea on what's going on.
> 
> and lastly, thank u so much for all the nice comments and kudos, u guys are rly lovely.


	6. Nothing is Good in this World but you're the Best Thing that happened to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is about the hospital scene. 
> 
> I still suck at summary.

Bokuto paced up and down on the corridor outside the emergency room. 

"The doctors have been in there for one fucking hour. What the fuck are they doing ?" He said to himself.

Kuroo remained silent as he watched Bokuto. He knew that saying a word may trigger Bokuto. Especially after that incident that happened a few years ago.

One of the doctor came out of the emergency rooms, catching both of their attentions.

"How is he ?" Bokuto asked immediately.

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we have removed all the pills he had ingest. The bad news is that he is in a coma. We're not sure when he will wake up but he is out of danger for now. You can visit him now if you want to." With that, the doctor walked away.

Bokuto swung his fist towards the wall in front of him.

"It's happening all over again. The suicide attempt, the coma, everything. Kuroo, it's happening all over again. I don't want to lose anyone again."

He collapsed onto the ground. Bitter tears formed and then coursed down his face. He didn't want to lose someone who meant so much to him. Everything hurts so badly right now.

Kuroo didn't know what to do. Seeing his best friend cry sucks. It sucks even more to know the reason why he's crying.

"Come, we can go and see him now. Stop crying, you're such a mess." Kuroo tried to make the atmosphere better.

Kuroo helped Bokuto up and dragged him towards Akaashi's ward. 

The machine's beeping echoed around the eerily quiet hospital ward. The smell of alcohol was so strong and the dim light was shining at Akaashi's pale looking body. Seeing Akaashi like this makes Bokuto sick. It was like 5 years ago, repeating itself all over again. Bokuto walked towards Akaashi's bed slowly, as if this was all a huge prank and that Akaashi would jump up and surprise him but of course, that didn't happen. 

He sat down on the chair that was beside the white hospital bed. He grabbed Akaashi's hand and nearly cried on contact of Akaashi's cold hand.

"You must be feeling really cold right now huh, Akaashi."

He looked at Akaashi with so much sadness in his eyes. It hurt Kuroo to see him like that so he walked out of the ward, to give them some space.

"Akaashi, I don't know if you can hear me but the doctor said that you're okay now. He said you're in a coma right now though. Please wake up Akaashi. I promised Kuroo that I will confess to you."

Tears were rolling down uncontrollably. It hurts to see Akaashi like this.

"Please wake up soon, Akaashi."


	7. Wake Me Up When September Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto has been visiting Akaashi everyday ever since he was admitted into the hospital.

Bokuto walked into the ward that he was getting so familiar with. It has been almost 2 weeks since Akaashi was admitted into the hospital. His father was nowhere to be found. Bokuto tried going to his house to tell Akaashi's father what had happened but every time he goes to that dreadful house, no one was there. 

"Akaashi, I'm here."

He sat down on the black leather chair.

"School was shit today. We had a test and I probably flunked it. Not that I bothered anyways. Kuroo is finally able to go to school after that suspension the other day. He still owes me the money he lost for the bet but thats okay I guess. I miss you so much Akaashi, you have no idea. It doesn't feel right when I don't see you in school."

Bokuto put his head on the bed and tried to nap for a while. He hasn't been sleeping well lately anyways so he was really sleep deprived. He fell asleep almost immediately.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The light shone brightly at him. 

Where was he ?

Why was there someone holding so tightly onto his hand ?

He looked around at the unfamiliar place.

And then he looked down at his hands, to see Bokuto sleeping and holding onto his hand so tightly.

"Akaashi, I missed you so much." Bokuto mumbled in his sleep.

Akaashi ran his fingers through Bokuto's hair. It wasn't gelled up like how it usually was. He could tell that Bokuto hasn't been sleeping well. His eye bags were so huge and his skin looks dry.

Akaashi decides to go back to sleep and lets Bokuto rest for a bit.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Bokuto jolted up from his sleep. It was the same dream. The dream whereby Akaashi finally woke up from his coma. He looked over to see Akaashi's steady shallow breathing. He sighed. 

"Akaashi is never going to wake up Bokuto. You saw what happened to Lev. You know it yourself. All of it is happening all over again. The coma, then the heart failure, then the death, then the funeral. Everything is happening again and you can't stop it again."

The thoughts kept going through his mind and the scene of seeing the casket being lowered to the ground kept on repeating itself. Bokuto was sure that he was going to lose Akaashi just like how he lost Lev, and he's here to witness the death of his loved one again.

He quickly sobbed as he held onto Akaashi's hand really tightly, as if when he lets it go, he would disappear.

Akaashi felt the pressure on his hands and woke up to see a sobbing mess in front of him.

Was it his fault that Bokuto was crying so badly ?

"B-bokuto-san, please stop crying."

And he stopped.

Not because he was told to stop, but because he thought he was hallucinating. 

But there he was, his eyes were staring right back at him. It was that dark green tint that Bokuto was so familiar with.

Bokuto immediately gave Akaashi a bone-crushing hug.

"Akaashi, you're awake. Oh god, I missed you so so much. I can't believe this."

Akaashi hugged him back, rubbing his back, trying to calm the boy down.

"Yes, Bokuto-san, I'm awake."

And alive..........

Akaashi finally realized.

"Fuck." He whispered so softly that anyone could barely catch it.

Bokuto let go of Akaashi and called the doctors in.

When Bokuto was gone for that split second, Akaashi started crying softly into his legs. He failed his attempt. He was still here. The bullying wouldn't stop. It wasn't over yet.

Bokuto came back into the room to see Akaashi crying. He ran towards him and hugged him.

"Akaashi, are you alright ? I'm sorry I cried. Please stop crying."

He wiped away his tears and looked at him with sorrow in his eyes. It sucks to see someone you love so dearly being upse

"Akaashi, are you okay ? I'm sorry."

Bokuto didn't know why he was apologizing.

The doctor and nurses started filling up the room and Bokuto had to leave Akaashi alone.

The moment he walked out of the door, he took out his phone and called Kuroo.

"Kuroo !! You wouldn't believe, Akaashi woke up and the doctors are checking on him. No, the doctors are NOT checking him out. They are checking if he's okay and shit. But holy fuck, I am so fucking happy that he is awake, you wouldn't believe. Yes, come here now you fucking shit. Ok bye."

Bokuto smiled widely as he waited patiently for Kuroo to get there. 

Akaashi looked out of the window and saw Bokuto smiling widely. His smile was so beautiful and lovely, it made him smile slightly. 

Akaashi realized how stupid he was to not realize that Bokuto was there for him ever since the first time they interacted. Bokuto has been there all the time. 

It then strike to him that maybe, after 16 years of his life, someone actually cares about him. 

Bokuto was that someone.

And he was so grateful for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok that's the end of chapter 7. i hope u guys are liking this story so far. thank u for reading, it means alot to me !!


	8. Home Sweet Home ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi was discharged from the hospital after 3 weeks. 
> 
> And Bokuto decides to bring him home.
> 
> Not his own home though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so grateful for all of u. i literally read through ur comment and it made my shitty day so much better. thank u so much for leaving such nice comments. i promise i will try to update more frequently now and then.

The cool winter breeze hit his face as he walked out of the dreadful place. Bokuto was waiting for Akaashi outside the entrance, looking extremely happy, like a kid that just got candy from the store. He held out his hand to grab Akaashi empty hand. 

"You're finally out. I can't wait to see you in school again." He smiled.

Akaashi's heart warmed up.

Someone actually cared but he was too oblivious about it.

He gave Bokuto one of his genuine smiles, one that he rarely show.

"Me too, Bokuto-san, I can't wait to see you in school as well."

Both males walked silently hand in hand towards the quieter part of town. Akaashi didn't mind it at all. Bokuto's hand felt so warm and it gave him a sense of protection, as if nothing can harm him.

His thoughts was interrupted when Bokuto clumsily run into a pole. He just laughed it off like an idiot, which made Akaashi laugh.

Bokuto's eyes glistened as he hear Akaashi's laughter.

"Oh my god, Akaashi ! Your laugh is so cute. How is that even fucking possible ? What the fuck."

Akaashi just stood there, dumbfounded and looked down shyly. He wasn't used to being complimented.

"Bokuto-san, what did you just say ?"

Bokuto, obviously didn't meant to say that out loud, said "Eh, I said nothing. You're delusional. I didn't say anything, I swear !"

Akaashi was sure that he wasn't hearing things but decides not to ask about it anymore.

Bokuto made a left turn, confusing Akaashi.

"Bokuto-san, my house isn't this way."

"Who said we're going to YOUR house ?" Bokuto smirked mischievously at Akaashi.

Akaashi shook his head and walked with Bokuto to wherever he wants to go.

Bokuto abruptly stopped in front of a 3-storey landed property and began opening the gates.

Akaashi just stood there awkwardly as he watched the other boy open up the gate to an unknown property.

He felt a hand grab his very own and dragged him into the house. 

"Muuuuuuuum, I'm home !!!" Bokuto screamed loudly as soon as step walked over the gates.

Akaashi cringed at how loud Bokuto was. A lady with silver hair appears at the door.

"Ah, Bo, you're home. And you brought a guest." The lady smiled at Akaashi.

"You must be the oh so famous, Akaashi Keiji. Hello, welcome to the Bokuto household. I am the mum, you can call me mum."

Akaashi, being the polite and well-mannered boy he is, replied, "Hello Mummy Bokuto, I am Akaashi Keiji. It's such a great pleasure to meet the mother of such a wonderful boy."

Bokuto coughed, "Okay, we're done with the introduction shit, let's go to my room where no one can embarrass me further." He said as he glared as his mother.

Mummy Bokuto chuckled. "Oh Akaashi, you have no idea how much Bokuto talks about yo-"

"Ah, that's it. We're going. Bye mum. We. Are. Going. To. My. Room. Goodbye."

Bokuto dragged Akaashi into the house and up the stairs, into a room that was painted a dark shade of grey.

"So, this is my room. No, I'm not a fuckboy, I'm not going to sex you up."

Akaashi chuckled. Of course he would make comments like this.

He then proceeded further into the spacious room. The walls were filled with posters of punk rock bands and some cheesy quote that Bokuto probably took from the internet.

Bokuto went over to his bed and sat down.

"Akaashi, come here. Don't just stand there."

Akaashi slowly walked towards the bed, obviously in awe as he looked around at the spacious looking room. He sat down beside Bokuto and plays with his fingers as he waited for Bokuto to start speaking. Even though the two boys had gotten really close in the hospital, its still kind of awkward, considering that he just came back from the hospital due to a suicide attempt.

"Just so you know, you're staying here tonight." Bokuto said in a demanding tone.

"In your room ?"

"I mean, if you want to."

"That would be lovely, thank you Bokuto-san."

And then, Bokuto started rambling about all the bands he likes and Akaashi listened to every single words of it. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

It was dinnertime. Mummy Bokuto called the two boys down. She had cooked her speciality, grilled Saba fish with onigiri. 

Bokuto had asked her to prepare something scrumptious because he was bringing Akaashi to the house and she agreed to it. She knew how emotionally attached Bokuto was to Akaashi and she wanted to make her son happy. She didn't want to see him as sad as he was when Lev died because which parent likes to see their child sad.

The two boys came down from the flight of stairs and settled down on the dining table.

"Itadakimasu." The three of them chanted.

"Akaashi-kun, I hope you like this meal. The Saba fish is my speciality, Bokuto loves it. I hope you like it too."

Dinner went by with Akaashi talking about himself to Mummy Bokuto and Bokuto listening to every words Akaashi said.

________________________________________________________________________________

After dinner, Mummy Bokuto asked the both of them to shower before doing whatever they liked.

Akaashi was the first to shower because Bokuto insisted.

As soon as the hot water hit his skin, he felt relieved. He was freezing to death. 

Akaashi was really sensitive to cold and he gets sick easily so having hot showers really helps.

When he came out of the shower, he was surprised to see Bokuto's wet hair.

"Oh, I showered in the washroom in the other room." Bokuto said when he saw Akaashi staring at his hair.

Both of them put on comfortable clothes that they can sleep in, Bokuto's being a pyjamas that has tiny owl prints on it and Akaashi's being an oversize pyjamas that has tiny cat prints on it.

"Akaashi, you look good in my pyjamas."

"Oh yeah, Bokuto-san, if your definition of good means I look like a tiny child in a pyjamas that is approximately 4 size bigger than my own then yeah, I look good." Akaashi said frustratedly as he almost trip on the pants.

The both of them decided to play Mario Kart and the night ended with Akaashi sleeping on Bokuto's chest.


	9. Second.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After having lunch with Bokuto and his mother, it was time for Akaashi to go home. 
> 
> Someone was waiting at home and Akaashi wasn't anticipating about what was going to happen to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am very sorry that i havent been able to update. i have been dealing with alot of problems and stress and ive finally calmed myself enough to write this chapter. school is also starting soon so i wont be updating that much either. but i hope u all enjoy this chapter x

Akaashi woke up when the sun was barely up. He felt a hand draped across his stomach. He knew who it is but he felt extremely comfortable, knowing that it was Bokuto and that Bokuto was the last person that would thought of hurting him. He intwined fingers with Bokuto and closed his eyes, enjoying the closeness between him and Bokuto.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was nearly lunchtime when the both of them woke up. Since it was a weekend, Mummy Bokuto decided that she would bring the two boys out for lunch before sending Akaashi home. Akaashi took a shower before meeting Bokuto and his mother in the living room. He was kind of dreading to go home so hopefully, the lunch would make up to all the things that's going to happen when he's home. 

"Akaashi-kun, are you ready to head out for lunch ?" Mummy Bokuto smiled.

Akaashi nodded lightly and started walking out of the door, following behind Mummy Bokuto.

He then felt a soft nudge on his arm.

"Akaashi, yesterday was comfy." Bokuto whispered softly and smirked, causing Akaashi to blush lightly.

They entered the car and Mummy Bokuto started driving towards the nearby Taco Bell since it was his favorite restaurant and Bokuto was an extremely picky eater.

It took less than 10 minutes to reach there. All of them got off the car and walked into the restaurant. 

Akaashi followed Bokuto to the counter to order food. He felt kind of bad for being such a trouble for Bokuto and his family.

"Bokuto-san, I'm going to pay for my own meal. I've already troubled you enough by staying at your house." Akaashi said softly.

Bokuto decided to purposely ignore Akaashi because he wasn't going to let Akaashi pay for his meal. 

"Bokuto-san, I know you're ignoring me."

"Okay then, I'm paying for my own meal since SOMEONE decides to ignore me."

This got Bokuto's attention.

"Akaashi, you are not going to pay for your own meal. You need to save up your money. My mother gave me money so we can buy US food, not just buy ME food. Keep your cash. Let me be gentleman as fuck and treat you to food.' Bokuto somehow managed to say that in one breathe.

Akaashi just stared at him in fascination.

"What ? Is there something on my face, why are you staring at me ?"

"Eh, I wasn't staring at you." Akaashi looked away in embarrassment.

It was their turn to order food next. Akaashi order a set of Soft Taco and Bokuto order a set of Crunchy Taco for Mummy Bokuto and a set of Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Tacos for himself. The both of them ended up having a small argument on who was going to pay and as expect, Bokuto won because Akaashi was too mature for that.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

After lunch, it was time for Akaashi to go home.

The journey to Akaashi's home was silent. Mummy Bokuto knows what happen in Akaashi's home because Bokuto told her. Bokuto didn't spoke because he was rather blunt when it comes to talking and he was scared that he might say something wrong.

They arrived outside his house. Akaashi stared at his house. It was an average landed property. It was painted white and the lawn was freshly cut. Akaashi sighed before opening the door.

"Thank you for letting me stay at your house for the weekends, Mummy Bokuto. You have been really good to me." Akaashi smiled and said politely.

Bokuto suddenly came out of the car and went towards Akaashi.

Akaashi froze when two huge arms hugged him.

Bokuto rested his chin on Akaashi's shoulders.

"You have my number. Call me if you need me. Remember I care a lot about you okay."

Akaashi hugged Bokuto back and rubbed his back, as a form of assurance.

Both of them had grown so comfortable with each other ever since Akaashi was admitted into the hospital.

They both released and Bokuto wiped away the tears that was threatening to fall from Akaashi's face.

"You're going to be okay Akaashi." He whispered ever so softly to Akaashi.

Akaashi nodded and walked towards the dreadful home.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Slam.

The moment Akaashi closed the door, he felt a hand pushing him towards the wall.

"Where the fuck have you been for the past few weeks ? Your school has been calling me asking about where you were and why have you not been attending school and I had to fucking lie about you being sick. You have no fucking idea how much trouble you've caused me."

Akaashi kept quiet. He knew that talking would trigger him to do worse.

"Fucking talk, you piece of shit. I don't remember having a mute son."

"I-I was admitted to the hospital for overdosing....." Akaashi whispered softly, but enough for his father to hear.

"Hah, a pathetic person like you overdosing ? I'm surprised you're still here. Why didn't you die ? Life would be better without you. Maybe your mother might come back and your siblings don't have to go through the trouble to going to and fro between your mums and my house."

"Why." Punch.

"Can't." Punch.

"You." Punch.

"Just." Punch.

"Die." Punch.

Akaashi winced at every punch. He was on the verge of crying.

"Go back to your fucking room and don't let me see your face for the rest of the night." His father screamed as he opened the door and walked out.

Akaashi let his tears flow down his face the moment his father closed the door. He was in so much pain and he probably broke a rib.

He reached for his bag and called Bokuto immediately. Bokuto picked up after 3 rings.

"Bokuto-san, please take me away. I hate this place so much. I want to die so badly. What did I do to deserve this ? All I wanted was to be happy. Is that too much to ask for, just a little happiness ? Bokuto-san, please, please take me away." He sobbed as he tried to talk into the phone.

"I knew it." Bokuto hung up.

There was a knock on the door a few seconds later.

"Akaashi, I'm coming in."

Bokuto opened the door slowly and peeked in to see Akaashi laying on the ground. His shirt was slightly up and Bokuto could see the slightly bruised skin under Akaashi's shirt.

"I knew something was bad was going to happen. I could felt it. That's why I told my mum to park two houses away from yours. I'm bringing you back to my house. You're not coming back here again." Bokuto said as he picked up Akaashi bridal-style because he was afraid about Akaashi's injury.

Akaashi cling onto Bokuto's shirt and sobbed quietly. He was in so much pain, but Bokuto being there makes it slightly better.

Bokuto carried Akaashi into the back seat and asked Mummy Bokuto to drive them to the hospital. Akaashi managed to sit up. He leaned onto Bokuto shoulders, cried for a bit and dozed off.

Bokuto looked at Akaashi and whispered softly to his mother.

"It pains me to see him suffer like this. Please, let's just go with our plans. Just adopt Akaashi so he don't have to deal with all this anymore." Bokuto cried.

Mummy Bokuto just looked at Bokuto through the mirror and drove silently to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thats the end of the chapter i hope u all enjoyed it. also, i havent rly been talking about the school stuff much bc it has been out of the picture but i might include bokuto and akaashi going back to school and meeting up with the gang again dont worry :-)


End file.
